The harpercon Government’s Response to the Torture Scandal Thus Far

harpercon Government: “There’s nothing in Richard Colvin’s memos that indicates anything wrong. The fact that Colvin says otherwise shows he doesn’t remember what he, himself wrote.”

Committee on Afghanistan: “Can we see the memos?”

harpercon Government: “No.”

Three generals, including the imbecile Hillier: “We’ve looked at the memos that the committee hasn’t seen (and which, technically, we shouldn’t have seen either) and we’re proud to say that our behaviour, like our character, is unimpeachable.”

Committee on Afghanistan: “Can we see those memos?”

harpercon Government: (Snicker!) “No.” (Snicker, giggle, snort, chuckle.)

Christie Belchford and Rosie DiMoron: “Ungh-blahhhh!!!! Oannnggghhhhh.” [drooling, weird eye-rolling] “HOOOOOOOT!!!!!” “EEEH! EEEEH!!!! EEEHHH!!!” “Angh!!!” [Translation: “My oh my, but aren’t we two of the most scuzziest scuz-ball scuzzies that you ever did see?”]

Committee on Afghanistan: “Can we see the memos that you leaked to one of those brain dead stupid hacks?”

harpercon Government: “No.”

stephen harper: “It’s detestable that the Opposition is calling our brave soldiers ‘torturers’ and ‘war criminals!’ I am proud to hide stand behind the troops who are definitely not guilty of war crimes. I didn’t turn those prisoners over to be, … um, … whatever might have happened to them! Some soldiers did! And they’re NOT war criminals!”

Yeah, we’ve had enough of this stupid bullshit.

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