EnMasse

VanLuke · Posted: Tue May 23, 2006 5:33 pm Post subject:

But what about us who are just waiting for the price for a vote to go up?
How much was it again?

Boom Boom · Fulltime enMasse Member Joined: 11 Apr 2006 Posts: 458

Mr. Cartman, I rise on a Point Of Order. Is it true, as has been alleged, that you did, in fact, squelch the "anyone but Cartman" movement on this Board? Shocked

Cartman · Posted: Tue May 23, 2006 11:59 pm Post subject:

gunnar gunnarson · Posted: Wed May 24, 2006 12:00 am Post subject:

So you administered some firm correction, then.

Cartman · Posted: Wed May 24, 2006 12:07 am Post subject:

cueball · Fulltime enMasse Member Joined: 11 Apr 2006 Posts: 2193

Cartman · Posted: Wed May 24, 2006 12:08 am Post subject:

Well done Cueball!

cueball · Fulltime enMasse Member Joined: 11 Apr 2006 Posts: 2193

No, No. Pray don't mention it Cartman -- you have always been the caretaker here.

VanLuke · Posted: Wed May 24, 2006 12:24 am Post subject:

Diane Demorney · Bazinga! Joined: 11 Apr 2006 Posts: 4746 Location: Calgary

Okay, now CUEBALL is scaring me. Shocked

_________________
Scissors cuts paper. Paper covers rock. Rock crushes lizard. Lizard poisons Spock. Spock smashes scissors. Scissors decapitates lizard. Lizard eats paper. Paper disproves Spock. Spock vaporizes rock. And as it always has, rock crushes scissors.

Cartman · Posted: Wed May 24, 2006 4:01 am Post subject:

It is funny how threads drift at times. I started off with a really congenial campaign, and the next thing I know I am praising a poster for locating a picture from The Shining. Shocked

He did do it pretty fast though.

idont · Posted: Wed May 24, 2006 12:38 pm Post subject:

Cartman, what is your position on moderators voting to increase their salaries?

If elected, will you vote to ensure that all moderators disclose their expense account expenditures? Will there be rules set up vis a vis appropriate expense account expenditures or will we be faced with, once again, a moderator using her/his expense account for wining and dining visiting minor dignitaries of at fancy schmancy downtown eateries?

Little Blue bird · Posted: Wed May 24, 2006 1:41 pm Post subject: The Shinnning

Hey I love the Shinning I think its a classic! Especally if you watch it at 3am with some Tequila Twisted Evil

_________________
Just because my feather's are blue doesn't mean that that's my political stance Wink

Cartman · Posted: Wed May 24, 2006 2:04 pm Post subject:

Debra · Posted: Wed May 24, 2006 2:25 pm Post subject:

Mr Cartman.... Mr Cartman.... over here........

It has come to my attention that Kenny was a large contributor to your campaign.

Now he can't be found and rumours are he may in fact have been killed..... what do you have to say to this?
_________________
Speak your mind...even if your voice shakes.
Maggie Kuhn

Cartman · Posted: Wed May 24, 2006 2:31 pm Post subject:

(sniff sniff)...dear Kenny was hit by an opponents (SLB's) train. His (sniff) last words were "I hope my death ensures your victory Cartman". (sniff) Vote Cartman! Do it for poor Kenny (sniff).

West Coast Tiger · Posted: Wed May 24, 2006 3:36 pm Post subject:

Mr. Cartman,

What do you plan to do about people who drink and post?
_________________
~ Rational ravings from a relative stranger in a troubled paradise. ~

Cartman · Posted: Wed May 24, 2006 3:51 pm Post subject:

West Coast Tiger · Posted: Wed May 24, 2006 4:04 pm Post subject:

Cartman · Posted: Wed May 24, 2006 4:19 pm Post subject:

Point of order! Clarification. I meant to say: They will NOT form my inner cabinet of course.

West Coast Tiger · Posted: Wed May 24, 2006 4:22 pm Post subject:

Busted! We got the dirt on you now, comrade!
_________________
~ Rational ravings from a relative stranger in a troubled paradise. ~

Little Blue bird · Posted: Wed May 24, 2006 5:24 pm Post subject:

West Coast Tiger · Posted: Wed May 24, 2006 5:33 pm Post subject:

Cartman · Posted: Wed May 24, 2006 5:35 pm Post subject:

West Coast Tiger · Posted: Wed May 24, 2006 5:36 pm Post subject:

[Looks over one shoulder, then the other]
You talkin' ta me? Shocked

_________________
~ Rational ravings from a relative stranger in a troubled paradise. ~

Little Blue bird · Posted: Wed May 24, 2006 5:47 pm Post subject:

West Coast Tiger · Posted: Wed May 24, 2006 5:50 pm Post subject:

F. · Fulltime enMasse Member Joined: 13 Apr 2006 Posts: 2578

Care to comment?

VanLuke · Posted: Thu May 25, 2006 3:37 am Post subject:

Thread drift/ ... (sorry)
.
.

BlueBird your avatar is the most beautiful one on the whole board!

.../thread drift[/color]

Cartman · Posted: Thu May 25, 2006 3:45 am Post subject:

Clog-boy · Posted: Thu May 25, 2006 3:46 am Post subject:

Cartman · Posted: Thu May 25, 2006 3:53 am Post subject:

Clog-boy · Posted: Thu May 25, 2006 3:58 am Post subject:

OMG...!

Someone just slipped this under my door...!

Now I'm not that sober and it's late, but doesn't it look someone who's running for mod is standing there in the field, with a 80ft satelite dish sticking from his rear...? (Not to mention the UFO hovering overhead!)

Now I'm not one to make unfounded accusations or anything, but maybe that pictures should be sent to some laboratory for some further analyses, eh..?

As for me, sleepdeprivation, weed and alcohol got the best of me..!

CheerZzzZzz

elmateo · Posted: Thu May 25, 2006 4:01 am Post subject:

Cartman is going to have to step down till these revelations can be cleared.

Specially his illegal spying on me. Embarassed

Norse of 60 · Kokanee Kid Joined: 11 Apr 2006 Posts: 3711

John_D · Self-banned Joined: 17 Apr 2006 Posts: 207

Edited June 21, 2006

Tehanu · Posted: Thu May 25, 2006 4:17 am Post subject:

I am deeply disappointed that yet another election campaign has demonstrated that the deep pockets are the ones that line up the supporters. I demand proportional representation! Fair votes! Election finance reform! Down with cronyism!

Okay, I'm just feeling like the Big C is getting all the attention because he can afford the TV ads Wink

VanLuke · Posted: Thu May 25, 2006 6:15 am Post subject:

West Coast Tiger · Posted: Thu May 25, 2006 7:27 am Post subject:

---BREAKING NEWS ---BREAKING NEWS ---BREAKI---

Well, it's been an unusual day here in campaign central. There is still no comment from Mr. Cartman on the recent allegations and photos that COULD very well jeopardize his campaign.

Rumours are certainly swirling around that Mr. Cartman may be in hiding over the unsubstantiated claims. Indeed, his war room appears to be a tornado of activity, from this reporter's point-of-view.

There is no word yet on when, if ever, he will be making his next public appearance to address these allegations.

I did not make this up.

And that's the news.

I'm WCT from LCG News. [perky smile]
_________________
~ Rational ravings from a relative stranger in a troubled paradise. ~

Cartman · Posted: Thu May 25, 2006 1:17 pm Post subject:

ahem ahem....I need to respond to a few allegations about my campaign.

The satellite dish. It was a pure hoax. I happened to be walking by the dish when I saw a Cheesie Poof on the ground and picked it up. Ergo, the dish did not come out of my ass, I am just in front of it in the picture and it just looks like that with some Photoshop help. I WILL NOT speculate whether or not one of my opponents wood create such a picture so please don’t ask me which one Hey?

Chef’s cooking is absolutely great! I do not, however, suck on his chocolate salty balls, I just bite right into them immediately. I cannot resist the subtle flavour of nutmeg and chocolate in there.

The Christian rock band. I think that faith is a wonderful thing. I want everyone to experience the feeling of salvation all over their faces.

I hope that this answers all allegations to everyone's satisfaction.

Vote Cartman!

F. · Fulltime enMasse Member Joined: 13 Apr 2006 Posts: 2578

I've finally received campaign literature in my mailbox. I'm surprised that these made it past the focus group:

But thanks for the gift:

elmateo · Posted: Thu May 25, 2006 2:38 pm Post subject:

this isn't going to play well over in the FF:

Cartman · Posted: Thu May 25, 2006 2:56 pm Post subject:

This negative campaigning against me must stop. Those were all misquotes or partial quotes from some time ago. Let’s start with the first one.

“Ay! Get your bitch-ass back in the kitchen and bake me some pie!”
Look, I used to own a restaurant and I was quite concerned about cleanliness in the kitchen. This was a misquote from when I was yelling at a ketchup supplier who constantly brought his dog along with him. The real quote was “Ay! Get your bitch to back her ass out of the kitchen when we are baking some pie!”

The next one.
“Screw you guys, I’m going home!”
Yet another partial quote from my right-wing competitor. Rather convenient wouldn’t you say? When I was out campaigning with my workers, we came upon some nasty Republican type fellas who stole some of our flyers and wrote nasty and false messages on the others. Thus, the real quote was me yelling at my campaign workers that I was going to help them. What I really said was “They are just trying to screw you guys, I’m going home to get some more leaflets.”

The last picture was the result of charitable work I was performing. I believe in providing free marijuana for medical purposes. Thing is, nobody supplies the hardware! Hence, I thought it would be neat to give out bongs to the needy.

RealityBites · Satan Incarnate Joined: 11 Apr 2006 Posts: 1584

I think this one is rather damning.

Just what are your ties to Prince Harry, anyway?

Cartman · Posted: Thu May 25, 2006 3:28 pm Post subject:

Oh Reality Bites, I see you are a fan of the dramatic arts. Kewl! In this caption of "Rescued from the Holocaust", I played Adolf Hitler. I think it is really important that people never forget that.....hey, wait a minute...you weren't implying that... Shocked

Well I never!

Did you ever see what happened to Scott Tenorman RB? DID YOU!?

Cartman · Posted: Thu May 25, 2006 6:25 pm Post subject:

I just received this PM and it explains where all of the mud thrown against my campaign has come from.

Cartman · Posted: Thu May 25, 2006 6:29 pm Post subject:

I just want to point out that I am still opposed to posting private messages in public threads, but I just had to this time.

Debra · Posted: Thu May 25, 2006 6:35 pm Post subject:

Cartman · Posted: Thu May 25, 2006 6:49 pm Post subject:

Heywood, I thought these attacks would stop?

West Coast Tiger · Posted: Thu May 25, 2006 6:55 pm Post subject:

BREAKING NEWS -- BREAKING NEWS -- BREAKI--

It's been another rough day on the Cartman campaign trail... Another video was released today showing Mr. Cartman involved in an alleged attack on a man. The incident apparently happened during Mr. Cartman's former years as an undercover detective. At the time of the incident, he was involved in a covert prostitution sting.

As you can see from the footage, this may be detrimental to Mr. Cartman's campaign....

Footage of the vicious attack

The victim has not yet been identified. The question of 'just how dangerous Mr. Cartman is' looms over EnMasse voters today.

More news at eleven.
_________________
~ Rational ravings from a relative stranger in a troubled paradise. ~