EnMasse

F. · Fulltime enMasse Member Joined: 13 Apr 2006 Posts: 2578

I am tempted to suggest that the press is crucifying the Cartman Campaign, but I think Mr. Cartman has already crucified himself:

Cartman · Posted: Thu May 25, 2006 9:19 pm Post subject:

Now Heywood is photoshopping S&M pictures of me! This is what happens when right-wingers enter an election. Evil or Very Mad

elmateo · Posted: Thu May 25, 2006 9:23 pm Post subject:

Cartman the centrist calling the pot black or something like that. I never understood the whole deal about the tea kettle and the pot.

Clog-boy · Posted: Fri May 26, 2006 1:47 am Post subject:

I'm absolutely repulsed by the accusations that I would have taken money from Heywood to sabotage Cartman's campaign! I would never lower myself to such standards..! Mad

(What's that? I wasn't accused of anything..?)

I fully retract any prior statement I made involving me taking money from Heywood... Rolling Eyes

(Btw Heywood: That cheque bounced.. I hope there isn't a problem in your campaign cashflow..?)

gunnar gunnarson · Posted: Fri May 26, 2006 2:01 am Post subject:

Cartman · Posted: Fri May 26, 2006 1:38 pm Post subject:

Well, Heywood did apologize and that shows character. You can't blame the right-wing candidate for throwing mud, I think it just comes naturally to them (hehe).

Debra · Posted: Sat May 27, 2006 2:42 am Post subject:

Mr. Cartman I don't know if this picture has already surfaced this campaign, but can you explain why you are dressing like Mr. Harper?

Are you secretly a tory? or do you just admire his fashion sense?

_________________
Speak your mind...even if your voice shakes.
Maggie Kuhn

Cartman · Posted: Sat May 27, 2006 3:21 am Post subject:

OK, now that deserves a place in the archives. They actually look similar. Stevie just needs glasses.

Diane Demorney · Bazinga! Joined: 11 Apr 2006 Posts: 4746 Location: Calgary

leftcoastguy · Posted: Sat May 27, 2006 3:44 am Post subject:

Just persuing the evening press reports and found this:

West Coast Tiger · Posted: Sat May 27, 2006 12:36 pm Post subject:

leftcoastguy · Posted: Sun May 28, 2006 12:21 am Post subject:

Now I understrand why Cartman refuses to speak to the press! Rolling Eyes

Cartman · Posted: Sun May 28, 2006 12:38 am Post subject:

gunnar gunnarson · Posted: Sun May 28, 2006 12:41 am Post subject:

Won't help. The national press is in a collective snit and is boycotting cartman's events.

TS. · Posted: Sun May 28, 2006 12:41 am Post subject:

And Mr. Cartman, will your office be preparing and circulating a list of those friendly enmassochists who are permitted to ask questions?
_________________
"Question with boldness even the existence of a God; because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason, than that of blind-folded fear." - Thomas Jefferson

gunnar gunnarson · Posted: Sun May 28, 2006 12:42 am Post subject:

cross post! Shocked

TS. · Posted: Sun May 28, 2006 12:43 am Post subject:

Great minds think alike gunnar.
_________________
"Question with boldness even the existence of a God; because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason, than that of blind-folded fear." - Thomas Jefferson

gunnar gunnarson · Posted: Sun May 28, 2006 12:45 am Post subject:

I was going to say that, but I don't know which one of us would have been more insulted.

leftcoastguy · Posted: Sun May 28, 2006 11:26 pm Post subject:

So Cartman now we are onto your political chicanery.

First using great ingenuity you get everyone here reved up about your political campaign to become global moderator, and then low and behold you are not even on the list of candidates.

Yes that certainly is brilliant strategy.

Cat got your tongue, eh! Laughing

Why MUST we vote Cartman for global moderator indeed! Rolling Eyes

(Or have you dropped out as well? Sad

)

TS. · Posted: Mon May 29, 2006 7:00 am Post subject:

[Deleted by TheStudent, because me=stupid]
_________________
"Question with boldness even the existence of a God; because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason, than that of blind-folded fear." - Thomas Jefferson

leftcoastguy · Posted: Mon May 29, 2006 7:10 am Post subject:

Cartman · Posted: Mon May 29, 2006 3:03 pm Post subject:

SEABC News
Live Press Conference
Re: Cartman Nomination and Negative Campaigning

Male midget reporter in a red bikini: Well Tom, it looks like Mr. Cartman is about to make a late speech live here at SEABC news. Here he comes, let’s listen to what he has to say.
Mr. Cartman
Ahem...I have been directed to make a statement, but not respond to reporter’s questions at this time. Many people have pointed out that my name is not on the global moderator’s candidacy list. A few matters of negative campaigning must be confronted. The most serious is the untimely death of campaign chair Kenny McCormick. There has been some public speculation that Kenny was killed by my associates who were also working in tandem for Screaming Lord Byron’s campaign. Further, it has been alleged that this is the reason for SLB’s withdrawal from the race. This smear campaign must stop. Before I exit the room, it should be pointed out THAT KENNY HAS SOMEHOW BEEN FOUND ALIVE! Good day to you and vote Cartman as your FIRST choice for global moderator!

Male midget reporter in a red bikini: It looks like Mr. Cartman is still alive and indeed thriving! Back to you Tom.

elmateo · Posted: Mon May 29, 2006 4:29 pm Post subject:

Now there is exploitation of little people!

Clog-boy · Posted: Mon May 29, 2006 4:54 pm Post subject:

Btw, looking at your current avatar, CM:

How do you stand on the use of marijuana before and while posting on the boards..?

(And oh: Towlie rulez!!!)

Cartman · Posted: Mon May 29, 2006 5:07 pm Post subject:

West Coast Tiger · Posted: Mon May 29, 2006 5:09 pm Post subject:

I think the major question here is whether CARTMAN has inhaled. If he hasn't, I say we toss his fanny right off the board!!

Wink

_________________
~ Rational ravings from a relative stranger in a troubled paradise. ~

Clog-boy · Posted: Mon May 29, 2006 5:25 pm Post subject:

Cartman · Posted: Mon May 29, 2006 5:28 pm Post subject:

West Coast Tiger · Posted: Mon May 29, 2006 5:34 pm Post subject:

elmateo · Posted: Mon May 29, 2006 5:46 pm Post subject:

West Coast Tiger · Posted: Mon May 29, 2006 5:49 pm Post subject:

Clog-boy · Posted: Mon May 29, 2006 5:59 pm Post subject:

Maybe you should add a Wink

to your post about Cartman inhaling... Wink

West Coast Tiger · Posted: Mon May 29, 2006 6:01 pm Post subject:

F. · Fulltime enMasse Member Joined: 13 Apr 2006 Posts: 2578

I'm finding it increasingly difficult to find consistency in Candidate Cartman's platform.

TS. · Posted: Mon May 29, 2006 10:45 pm Post subject:

Hey Cartman, your name still isn't on the list. What gives?
_________________
"Question with boldness even the existence of a God; because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason, than that of blind-folded fear." - Thomas Jefferson

leftcoastguy · Posted: Mon May 29, 2006 10:48 pm Post subject:

I think he went out for chicken - I mean chickened out! Rolling Eyes

Not a good sign -

I suppose he couldn't take the pressure, eh!

HeywoodFloyd · Token Right-Wing Mascot Joined: 11 Apr 2006 Posts: 1198

elmateo · Posted: Mon May 29, 2006 11:06 pm Post subject:

The Partido Revolutionario del Mateo has no confidence in either campaign.

Order? Thats hardly revolutionary.

Cartman is hardly elmateo.

The only thing going on is the party, rather meekly.

Stephen Gordon · Dismal scientist Joined: 11 Apr 2006 Posts: 449

Cartman · Posted: Tue May 30, 2006 2:40 am Post subject:

Cartman · Posted: Tue May 30, 2006 2:44 am Post subject:

Diane Demorney · Bazinga! Joined: 11 Apr 2006 Posts: 4746 Location: Calgary

Where IS the list?
_________________
Scissors cuts paper. Paper covers rock. Rock crushes lizard. Lizard poisons Spock. Spock smashes scissors. Scissors decapitates lizard. Lizard eats paper. Paper disproves Spock. Spock vaporizes rock. And as it always has, rock crushes scissors.

Screaming Lord Byron · Posted: Tue May 30, 2006 3:10 am Post subject:

Triz · Posted: Tue May 30, 2006 3:13 am Post subject:

The list is here.

The list seems to be missing someone whose name starts with D as well...
_________________
Real feminists do it with class.

HeywoodFloyd · Token Right-Wing Mascot Joined: 11 Apr 2006 Posts: 1198

leftcoastguy · Posted: Tue May 30, 2006 6:42 am Post subject:

TS. · Posted: Tue May 30, 2006 7:01 am Post subject:

Cartman, you seem to be on the list now, as is Diane.
_________________
"Question with boldness even the existence of a God; because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason, than that of blind-folded fear." - Thomas Jefferson

Cartman · Posted: Wed May 31, 2006 6:26 pm Post subject:

Cartman · Posted: Thu Jun 28, 2007 4:06 am Post subject:

Reasons why you NEED to vote Cartman

Previous political experience: Mayor of Smileytown.

Previous military experiece: Led the Confederate army to victory over the North.

Previous anti-racism experience: Ended a serious genocidal campaign directed at gingers.

Mounted strategic anti-sexual harassment campaign with sexual harassment panda.

Supporters: Ben Afleck, Jesus and Pals.

Compared to Cartman, the competition is nothing....literally.

Norse of 60 · Kokanee Kid Joined: 11 Apr 2006 Posts: 3711