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"Designer vaginas"

 
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Tehanu
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PostPosted: Fri Jul 24, 2009 8:31 pm    Post subject: "Designer vaginas" Reply with quote

My gut reaction to this? Puke.

A more nuanced reaction? Great, one more thing for women to fret about, our vaginas not being friggin' tight enough or our labia being a little too small or a little too big.

Double puke.

Note the spin is all about how it will increase the woman's sexual pleasure. Sure, that's why people are shelling out tens of thousands of dollars for surgery.

Where to start? Rolling Eyes

Quote:
... Dr. [David] Matlock is a colourful pioneer in a controversial — and growing — frontier of plastic surgery: nipping and tucking vaginas. Patients from the United States and more than 30 other countries pay thousands of dollars for his “designer vagina,” a purely esthetic procedure that includes shortening or plumping up the labia, or vaginal lips. He attracts even more women for an operation he claims improves sex by tightening, or “rejuvenating,” the vagina.

“There's a need for this,” he said. “Women are driving this. I didn't create this market, the market was there.”

While doctors have long known how to enhance women's genitals, demand for vaginal surgery has mushroomed in recent years because physicians — led by Dr. Matlock — market it as enhancing sexual satisfaction.

... The trend has even reached girls as young as 15. In the past 18 months, the number of teens — and in one case an adolescent and her mother — who come to Dr. Matlock for designer vaginas has doubled.

“They're mature. Breasts, body, everything. I mean the clothing that they're wearing, the whole thing. These are not little girls. They're mature young ladies.”

Plastic surgery's spread to women's nether regions alarms those who see it as a manifestation of society's air-brushed standards of the female form that exploits women's deep-seated insecurities.

... However, women who have had their genitals surgically enhanced say it has transformed their lives. While some patients have genuine health problems, such as incontinence, many also ask their doctors to perform additional procedures while they are on the operating table. Others are solely driven by cosmetic or sexual reasons.

... While Dr. Matlock acknowledges vaginal tightening benefits men, he insists his patients come to him because they want change.

... Still, a husband of a woman with stress incontinence in the mid-1990s played a large role in Dr. Matlock's inadvertent realization of the demand for vaginal reconstruction, which builds on decades-old surgical techniques. Some physicians have long quietly added an extra stitch “for the husband” while repairing new mothers' episiotomies.

... Soon Dr. Matlock, a trim, compact 45-year-old St. Louis, Mo., native with a throaty laugh, placed his first and only advertisement, which featured his then-girlfriend posing in a bikini.

The newspaper ad proclaimed the first sexual advance of the new millennium, saying: “You won't believe how good sex can be.” The response was so overwhelming that he pulled it and now largely relies on personal recommendations and his website, which depicts images of flowers and attractive women.


(And yes, the thread title is the same as the Globe and Mail headline. Lots more ickiness in the original article.)
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swirrlygrrl
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PostPosted: Fri Jul 24, 2009 8:38 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
Some physicians have long quietly added an extra stitch “for the husband” while repairing new mothers' episiotomies.


And in some cultures, they infibulate women "for the husband." Same continuum.

How about, for $50, you buy some ben wa balls and learn to use your PC muscles "for the husband"?
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Bacchus
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PostPosted: Sat Jul 25, 2009 4:51 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Swirly if I did that, Mrs Bacchus would shove them up my ass for my own 'kegels'
Razz
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Tehanu
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PostPosted: Sat Jul 25, 2009 12:38 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

And you say that like it's a bad thing? Wink
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Timebandit
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PostPosted: Sat Jul 25, 2009 3:00 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

swirrlygrrl wrote:
Quote:
Some physicians have long quietly added an extra stitch “for the husband” while repairing new mothers' episiotomies.


And in some cultures, they infibulate women "for the husband." Same continuum.

How about, for $50, you buy some ben wa balls and learn to use your PC muscles "for the husband"?


Sadly, most women wouldn't, for the same reason tummy-tucks and liposuction trump exercise.
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Bacchus
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PostPosted: Sat Jul 25, 2009 5:59 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Tehanu wrote:
And you say that like it's a bad thing? Wink


Cool Pegging can be fun for all but no ben wa balls, that would jsut be weird
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Cartman
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PostPosted: Sun Jul 26, 2009 1:19 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
Sadly, most women wouldn't, for the same reason tummy-tucks and liposuction trump exercise.


You are not saying that most women would be interested in a designer vagina are you?
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Rufus Polson
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PostPosted: Sun Jul 26, 2009 6:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. Uuuugggghhhhh.
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fork
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PostPosted: Sun Jul 26, 2009 6:31 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
. . . the man who has been called the Picasso of vaginas will attempt to turn wish into reality. . .

“It's basically all about art. I'm an artist.”

Picasso? So he turns your vagina into something like this:



I'd say more Boris Vallejo than Picasso.
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Tehanu
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PostPosted: Sun Jul 26, 2009 7:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Good point Fork! Who wants a cubist vagina, after all?
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bshmr
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PostPosted: Mon Jul 27, 2009 1:18 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Some where, there is a photo (online image) of a fanged devil's head tattoo surrounding a woman's vagina, which has to be the penultimate in designer genitalia or a damned close second. A powerful symbolic, archetypal message must, yes must, have been intended.

I used to work around a few preverts, a few perverts, a few proverts, and a bunch of relatively mundane people. And, I don't intend to suggest pretenses for anyone else -- I felt that I needed to add this.
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Doug
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PostPosted: Wed Jul 29, 2009 1:06 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

My Vagina is Eight Miles Wide
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Raos
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PostPosted: Wed Jul 29, 2009 1:49 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

That was pretty awesome.
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Chester
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PostPosted: Wed Jul 29, 2009 2:10 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi Doug!
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Hephaestion
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PostPosted: Mon Nov 30, 2009 10:13 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Mother Jones on mints for your vagina

Quote:
Jen Phillips at Mother Jones has an essay about Linger, an “internal feminine flavoring.”

Quote:
A little digging revealed that Linger is made/distributed by a company called Admints, which just happens to make trade show mints. And the Linger samples just happen to have have the exact same shape, taste, and ingredients as Admint’s sample mints. So how does Linger manage to pass off breath mints as vaginal Tic Tacs in $7.99 packs? Despite the salacious creation story and testimonials on its site (”It gets a little warm as it starts to dissolve which took just under an hour. Then, it is SO good!!”), the mint is labeled “for novelty use only.” This is a common practice in the sex-products industry, explains Charlie Glickman, the education program manager at Good Vibrations. It gives manufacturers some cover if something goes awry, he explains. “They could say, ‘It’s just a novelty toy. You weren’t actually expecting to use this were you?’” And if you actually do expect to use Linger to “flavor the woman in a manner that is safe and effective,” be warned: its primary ingredient is sugar, which is not safe for the vagina. It messes up the pH and can lead to a really painful yeast infection, a condition that definitely doesn’t make someone want to “linger.”

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Senor Magoo
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PostPosted: Mon Nov 30, 2009 10:31 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
Some where, there is a photo (online image) of a fanged devil's head tattoo surrounding a woman's vagina, which has to be the penultimate in designer genitalia or a damned close second.


Just apropos of nothing, that's exactly what "penultimate" means.
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Hephaestion
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PostPosted: Mon Mar 01, 2010 2:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well, speaking of "designer vaginas", what happens when you let a Be-dazzler™ loose in your pelvic region? Vajazzling!

(no, I'm really NOT making this up; click the link)
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Senor Magoo
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PostPosted: Mon Mar 01, 2010 4:00 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Man, does that ever look stupid. Vajayjays are fine as they are.
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Timebandit
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PostPosted: Mon Mar 01, 2010 4:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Geez, now I feel like such a frump. Can't even find time to shave my legs, never mind spangle my pubes.

Honestly, these people have way too much time on their hands. Rolling Eyes
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Raos
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PostPosted: Mon Mar 01, 2010 5:26 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Vajazzle? Spangle? Real people just spackle. Mr. Green

Honestly, I've never gotten much of any body mod trends.
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Tehanu
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 02, 2010 2:31 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Let's put aside the stupidity of sticking rhinestones on your pubic area, can they please, please, please, please stop referring to the vulva as the vagina?

I mean, we don't refer to men's penises as their balls, do we?

Specifically, that woman is having rhinestones stuck on her mons. Which I have to say sounds a wee bit scratchy for anyone getting up close and personal ...
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Timebandit
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 02, 2010 6:40 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I have been known to refer to an entire man as a scrotum, but only in especially aggravating circumstances. Laughing

Yup, the whole vulva/pubic area referred to as "vagina" irritates me, but what's worse is this va-jay-jay business... It's so freaking juvenile. Like you can't just use the correct word because it's oh so shocking. So, so stupid. Kind of like baby talk.
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Hephaestion
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PostPosted: Fri Apr 16, 2010 8:30 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well, if ya don't wanna be "vajazzled", what about a "Gluteal Cleft Shield"?

Quote:
First it was elective rectal cleansing, now it's coin-slot protection. Fashionista reports getting the following email.

Quote:
I am the designer of a product called the Backtacular gluteal cleft shield. It’s a hypoallergenic adhesive patch that is applied directly to the skin above the gluteal cleft area of the buttocks. The patch is made of denim with a rhine stone and/or rhine stud design. The product stops gluteal cleft exposure when wearing low rise apparel. The picture of Jennifer Garner below is courtesy of the TMZ ” Crack Is Wack” section of the TMZ website. The Backtacular Gluteal cleft patch is patent and trademark pending. I would appreciate your consideration in taking my company on as a client.


Check out the site if you'd like a bedazzled crack. I guess that's better than being vajazzled.

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Raos
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PostPosted: Fri Apr 16, 2010 11:07 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

umm... riiiight...
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Timebandit
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PostPosted: Sat Apr 17, 2010 12:02 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Or you could just wear pants that fit.

Why, yes, I am somebody's mother! How did you guess? Very Happy
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abnormal
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PostPosted: Sun Apr 18, 2010 2:08 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

swirrlygrrl wrote:
How about, for $50, you buy some ben wa balls and learn to use your PC muscles "for the husband"?


Hmmmm....



http://www.inquisitr.com/39954/charming-childrens-bracelet-found-on...
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swirrlygrrl
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PostPosted: Sun Apr 18, 2010 3:34 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think that may be for a different orifice...
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Raos
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PostPosted: Sun Apr 18, 2010 5:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yeah.

Wow. Just, wow.
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Hephaestion
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PostPosted: Sun Apr 18, 2010 6:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Got "lady funk" issues? Put the blame where it belongs!

Quote:
In 1978, a team of scientists succeeded in proving that "vaginal malodor" among women using the contraceptive sponge is caused by sperm—specifically, the components sperm breaks down into after having been killed by spermicide. That's the interesting part. The funny part, as pointed out by blogger Scicurious, is imagining the awkward lives of the grad students involved in this study. Money quote: "Hey, go put this is in, get it on, and come back immediately, please, we'll need that spunk."

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abnormal
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PostPosted: Mon Apr 19, 2010 12:06 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

swirrlygrrl wrote:
I think that may be for a different orifice...


I know but couldn't resist. That particular ad has been floating around for quite a while.
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Raos
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PostPosted: Fri Sep 17, 2010 4:17 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

So, perhaps not designer vaginas per se (although it might be, we haven't seen any wish lists yet) but this has left me flabbergasted.

E! Plans Bridal Plastic-Surgery Competition
Quote:
First, reality TV gave us Bridezillas; now it's going to construct Frankenbrides. According to the Hollywood Reporter, E! has ordered Bridalplasty, a new reality show in which brides-to-be compete for plastic-surgery procedures.

Each week, James Hibberd reports, " a group of women competes head-to-head in such challenges as writing wedding vows and planning honeymoons. The winner receives the chance to choose a plastic surgery procedure from her 'wish list.' She's given the procedure immediately, and results are shown at the start of the following week's episode."
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